Start here

Exploring Your Enneagram

Two questions and nine short portraits, about ten minutes. Do this first, on your own, and bring what you land on to your next session. Then, if you're curious, read on: the second half explains what the Enneagram is, what it isn't, and how we'll use it together.

Before you answer

Answer for yourself at home, in your everyday adult life over the last few years. Not at work, where a role often decides how you act, and not on your best day or your worst. If you're stuck between two answers, ask: which one was I at twenty? And if you're torn, mark a second choice. That's useful information, not indecision.

Two questions first, then nine short portraits. Nothing here will fit you completely; you're choosing the closest, not the truest possible sentence about you.

Question 1. Which sounds most like the way you generally move through the world?

AI go after what I want. I've got energy, I take initiative, and I make things happen rather than wait for them. I'm at my best when I'm acting on the world. Asserting myself comes fairly naturally, and I'd rather be at the centre of the action than at the edge of it. If something's in my way, my instinct is to push through it, charm past it, or outwork it.

BI need my own space, and a fair amount of life happens inside me. I'm quieter than most, more comfortable on my own or with a few people than in the thick of things. When life gets demanding, my instinct is to step back, into my thoughts, my imagination, my own world, and deal with it from there. People sometimes think I'm not engaged; really I'm engaged inwardly.

CI do what needs to be done. I'm responsible, more responsible than most, and I take commitments, duties, and doing things properly seriously. There's a strong sense in me of how one should act, and I measure myself against it. My instinct when something matters is to serve it: the family, the job, the standard, the people counting on me. I'd rather be dependable than impressive.

My choice: Second choice, if torn:

Question 2. Which sounds most like you when there's conflict, disappointment, or difficulty?

XI look for the upside, and I don't stay down long. My instinct is to reframe, to find what's still good, keep things positive, and get everyone (including me) feeling okay again. I tend to downplay problems and put off the heavy conversations; dwelling on what's wrong feels pointless to me and hard on everyone. People experience me as easy to be around, though sometimes they wish I'd take the problem more seriously.

YI react, and you'll know it. When something's wrong I feel it strongly and I need the feeling to be met. I want the other person to match my seriousness before I can settle. Sitting on my reaction feels dishonest. I need to know where people stand and that they're as invested as I am. People experience me as intense, passionate, sometimes too much, but never fake.

ZI set the feeling aside and deal with the problem. My instinct in difficulty is to stay composed, get objective, and work the issue. Emotions have their place, but they don't usually help solve things. I put my reaction away so efficiently that people sometimes ask if I even have one. I do; it just isn't the tool I reach for. People experience me as calm and competent, though sometimes they wish I'd show more.

My choice: Second choice, if torn:

Your starting point

Find your row and column. The number is a starting-point type: a hypothesis to explore, not an answer. If you marked a second choice, you have two or four candidate numbers, and that's fine. Bring them all.

	X look for the upside	Y react and engage	Z set feeling aside
A · go after it	7	8	3
B · step back	9	4	5
C · do my duty	2	6	1

What the number points to

1Principled and precise; improves what's wrong; avoids being bad or in error
2Warm and giving; meets others' needs; avoids being unwanted
3Driven and effective; adapts to succeed; avoids failure and worthlessness
4Deep and expressive; feels life fully; avoids being insignificant or unseen
5Private and perceptive; understands before engaging; avoids being depleted or overwhelmed
6Loyal and prepared; scans for what could go wrong; avoids being without support
7Energetic and forward-looking; keeps life open and positive; avoids feeling trapped in pain
8Strong and direct; leads with intensity; avoids being controlled or vulnerable
9Steady and agreeable; keeps the peace; avoids conflict and separation

Whatever number you landed on, two things have already settled that matter more than the number: how you move toward what you need (Question 1) and what you do with difficulty (Question 2). We'll be using both from the first session, even while the type question stays open.

Nine short portraits

Read all nine slowly. Then choose the three that recognise you most, in order. You're listening for the one that makes you slightly uncomfortable because it's accurate, not the one you'd like to be. The portraits are deliberately not labelled with type numbers; your counsellor will match them with you, so that what you bring to the session is recognition rather than a label.

Portrait1

I need my own space and my own time, and the world mostly asks for more than I have to give. I watch, I think, I understand, from a slight distance, where nothing can flood me. I keep my needs small so I don't have to depend on anyone. Feelings come later, when I'm alone. People generally want more of me than I hand over.

Portrait2

I notice what's wrong, in the room, in the work, in myself, almost before I notice anything else. There's a voice in my head that checks and corrects everything I do, and it is never fully satisfied. I keep my word, I do things properly, and I quietly resent how much I carry. Underneath, I'm trying to be good, genuinely good, and I rarely feel I've made it.

Portrait3

I'm direct, I'm strong, and I take charge; someone has to. I know instantly who's real and who's bluffing, and I protect my people without being asked. What I don't do is show soft. Being controlled, used, or blindsided: that's what I guard against, always. Under the armour there's more tenderness than most people ever get to see.

Portrait4

I get things done, and I'm good at reading what counts as success wherever I am, and becoming it. People see me as capable and confident, and mostly I am. Feelings slow things down, so I set them aside until the task is done, but the next task always starts. Underneath, I want to be valued, and I sometimes wonder who I'd be with nothing to show.

Portrait5

My mind runs ahead to what could go wrong; it always has. I doubt things: promises, plans, authorities, myself. I'm the loyal one, the prepared one, the one people count on, but I rarely feel as sure inside as I look. I want to know where I stand and who I can trust, and even when I know, part of me keeps checking.

Portrait6

I'm easy to be around. I see every side, I go along, I keep the peace. Other people's agendas somehow fill my days, and if you ask what I want, honestly, I often draw a blank. I don't like conflict; I'd rather things stay comfortable. My anger is buried so deep even I rarely find it. I can go missing from my own life without noticing.

Portrait7

I can feel what people need almost before they do, and meeting that need is the most natural thing in the world to me. I'm the one who remembers, checks in, shows up. Asking for something for myself is strangely hard; my own needs feel like an imposition. If I'm honest, I sometimes keep score, and it hurts when nobody notices what I give.

Portrait8

I feel things deeply, more deeply than most people seem to, and I won't pretend otherwise. Something always seems to be missing: the connection, the life, the version of me that would finally fit. I compare, I long, and what I have loses its shine once it's mine. I want to be seen for who I actually am, not managed, not fixed.

Portrait9

I keep life up. There's always something good coming, a plan, an idea, a next thing, and I'd rather taste it all than get stuck anywhere painful or dull. People say I bring energy, and I do. But I move on quickly, sometimes right past things that needed feeling. Limits make me itchy. Sitting still with something hard is the hardest thing I do.

Best fit: Portrait Second: Portrait Third: Portrait

That's the exercise done. Bring your two answers, your starting-point number, and your three portraits to our next session. If your top choices sit close together, good; that's usually where the most interesting conversation is. The rest of this guide explains what you've just done and how we'll use it.

Want the longer version? Take the full Elevate Enneagram Test — 72 paired statements, about fifteen minutes, with a profile of all nine types at the end.

Now that you've done it

What the Enneagram is

The Enneagram describes nine patterns of attention. Each of us, early on, worked out a way to stay safe and get what we needed, and that way became a habit so familiar it feels like "just who I am." The Enneagram gives those nine habits names and shows what each one is protecting. Its focus is on what's going on inside, on what you're afraid of and what you're reaching for, more than on how you behave. Two people can act the same way for completely different reasons, and the reason is what matters.

Knowing your pattern doesn't change it. But it lets you catch it in the act, and that's where the room to choose something different opens up. Three things worth holding onto, now that you have a number or two in hand:

You are not your personality.The pattern describes something you learned, not who you are.

The pattern was intelligent.It kept you safe. It made sense, given where you started.

The number is a hypothesis.You're the only person who can confirm it. No test can decide this for you, including the one you just did.

What it isn't

Not a test you pass.There are no good or bad types. Every one of the nine carries a real gift and a real cost.
Not a box.You'll recognise yourself in several of the nine. That's expected, and it's useful.
Not a diagnosis.Nothing here says anything about mental health. It's a description of habit, not a clinical label.
Not an excuse."That's just my type" is the one way to use the Enneagram that makes things worse. A pattern is something you can see and step out of, not a verdict.
Not proven the way some of our other tools are.The research behind the Enneagram is thin. The research behind the couples and attachment work we do is strong. We use the Enneagram as a lens for noticing yourself, and we're honest about which is which.

How we'll use it together

You tell me; I don't tell you. In our sessions I'll offer distinctions and questions, and you'll be the one who says whether something fits. We'll usually hold two or three possibilities for a while rather than settle fast. A type that's declared in the first ten minutes is often the wrong one, and a type you arrive at yourself, over a few weeks, tends to hold.

If you've also done an online test somewhere else, bring those results too. They're a useful starting point, and we'll treat them as a hypothesis rather than a finding. Most online tests are confident in ways the evidence doesn't support, and a couple of them give growth advice that points in exactly the wrong direction, so we'll look at yours together before you act on it.

One more thing: the moments when you couldn't answer a question, or were stuck between two options, are some of the most useful moments in this whole process. Please don't tidy them up. Bring them as they are.

Between now and our session

If you'd like to get a head start, try this once a day for a week. Don't try to change anything; just notice and keep a rough tally.

Once a day, catch where your attention went first when you walked into a room, opened a message, or hit a snag. Was it to what's wrong? To what someone else needs? To the exit? To what could go badly? Write down one word.

A week of honest noticing tells us more than a second questionnaire ever could. And it's already the work: the whole point of the Enneagram is to see the pattern while it's running, and this is how that starts.

If you're coming as a couple

A few things are different when two of you are doing this. In couples work we use three tools, and it helps to know which one is doing what.

Gottman	The backbone. What the research shows actually works between two people, and what to practise.
Enneagram	A map of what each of you is protecting, and why a particular bit of the work is harder for one of you than the other.
NVC	The words. How to say a hard thing so it can be heard.

Gottman's research found that about 69% of what couples argue about never gets resolved, because it's rooted in enduring differences in who each person is. That's not a failure; it's every couple. The goal isn't to solve those differences but to understand them well enough that you can talk about them without doing damage. That's what the Enneagram is for here: a shared, non-blaming vocabulary for the differences that are going to stay.

One rule, and it's the important one: each of you speaks only for yourself. Do the exercise separately, and don't type your partner. Handing someone a label for their spouse is criticism with a vocabulary, and it undoes the thing we're here to build.

Elevate Counselling & Therapy, Saskatoon. Questions about this guide or about booking: kenny@elevatecounselling.net · Book online

The two-question structure is adapted with attribution from the Riso-Hudson QUEST, © The Enneagram Institute. Descriptions and portraits are original to Elevate Counselling. This guide is for self-reflection and is not a clinical assessment.